A customer emailed us about a bug. He was friendly and warm, like a kindly old neighbor. We tried to replicate the bug, but couldnt. When we told him, he got nasty. Like, snarling, growling, howling at the moon nasty. Any attempt to resolve the issue or assuage his anger seemed to enrage him more. It was only then that I noticed the full moon.
When a customer shape-shifts on you that quickly, theres only one explanation: a werewolf ticket. Nice and friendly one moment, howling mad the next. There seems to be no way to calm him down or talk him out of this hideous state.
In this case, you have to go right to the big guns: Pull in a shaman to help mediate and cure the bloodlust. A customer service manager or director would be a wise choice, as they are all highly trained in the art of taming the wild beast.
It should be noted that it is not uncommon for a customer to take to the public airwaves to vent their frustration. If a customer posts on Facebook or tweets under a full moon, your silver bullet will be a public measured response. Make sure your customers know that your company is standing by to help. Respond in the channel that was used for the complaint and try to solve the actual issue publicly. Most importantly, dont let them bite others and create more werewolves.
You cant win them all. We couldnt take down this particular werewolf. It happens. We tried our best, but hes still out there, somewhere.
While you should try your best, you should accept that some situations may be out of your control. Especially with werewolves. The key thing is to learn, improve, and move on.
And dont let them bite you or youll become a werewolf too.
And for the truly brave, The Mysterious Case of Ticket X: the book!