4 Websites Vitaly Borker Should Start

December 9, 2010

Ok. So things have been going from bad to worse to really, really %$#*&-up for Vitaly Borker ever since the New York Times reported that the Russian-born DecorMyEyes.com magnate purposely intimidated and harassed customers because he discovered that rampant bad publicity catapulted his business to the top of Google search engines. First, Google re-programmed its “secret sauce” recipe, hurtling DecorMyEyes.com to the nether reaches of its results, and then he got arrested.

Borker may be down, but you can bet he’s not out! In fact, it’s likely that at this very moment Borker is scheming on how to capitalize on his new-found notoriety, and we’ll soon be seeing new websites from him like these in the near future:

DecorMylicensePlates.com: The genius who brought you designer eyeglasses for cheap is now available to pimp your car’s license plate.  Also, see DecorMyPrisonCell.com.

E-Bait&Switch.com: Why should you “give the customer what they want” when you can give the customer what YOU want, and make more $$ doing it!  My course teaches you how to substitute low-cost imitations for the original, keep all the cash, and play the victim – all at the same time!

HateToWriteHateMail.com: Want to brutalize customers the Vitaly Borker way, but lack the Vitaly venom, vengeance, and invective? Then let Borker compose your “hate mail” himself.  For one all-inclusive fee, Vitaly will-custom-compose your very own made-to-order threats, insults, curses and harangues.

IKnowWhereYouLive.com: Want to be intimidated the old-fashioned way?  Simply type in your address to this nifty service and BOOM – now Vitaly knows where you live. Simple.

Photo courtesy of andrewrennie.